Monday, May 20, 2013

Not a post about struggling. Okay, it is. Sorta.

Oh, excuse the awesome bread and butter pudding that I made. Yes, I know you normally cut the crusts off, but I like crusts and that's such a waste. The 'after' shot is certainly proof that I am no food photographer. It was taken in my kitchen as it came out of the oven after dinner. It was dark by then and the baby was waiting. Impatiently.

Today's prompt is about being real and discussing something I'm really struggling with at the moment. The pudding and the photography don't really have anything to do with that. 

Here are two things I'm considering at the moment. 

Firstly, a lot of the online talk I come across is sprinkled with xx's and 'hun' and 'love' and solidarity and sisterhood but in person some of these women are not all xx's and 'hun' and 'love' and solidarity and sisterhood. They are not entirely the mean girls of high school. There is no garbage in my bag or Coke spilled over my clothes or beatings with sticks or books. But there are silences and de-friending and stiff smiles that tell me I am not their kind of person. I am not their friend.
Secondly, I've been thinking about what kind of role model for womanhood I want to be for my boy. Are these the kinds of relationships I want him to see me having - where I'm on the edges of conversations, where I'm not included in the 'renegade' group? Because he is so much like me, it hurts. I see already the same look of bewilderment in my boy's face when other kids hit and bite and push and pull at him. I'd really prefer he think people, women, mums in particular, will always treat others, will treat him, well. For just a little while longer anyway.


  1. I will never forget the look on one of my little guys face when we were at the shops and he said hi to a kid from school and the kid just ignored him. It hurt him, but I think it hurt me more ... to the point I wanted to slap the little shit.
    It does suck - big time when you reach out to someone and you get nothing back. Their loss is what I say to myself and to my boys and then I try to shrug it off, but inside I am not always as forgiving as I would like to be. i want to think people are genuine, but there are times that it is hard to believe. x

    1. Oh Sonia, I am not looking forward to all these types of school-age dramas. But to be honest, I have a feeling it may be a smidge easier with my boy than with a daughter. I don't know how or when they learn it but girls can be horrifically cruel with a shining smile on their lips.

    2. Sadly I think a lot of it is pack mentality hun - girls are never meaner than they are when they get together in packs. Even the meanest girls I have come across are nothing when they are on their own. I think all we can do is teach our kids to be friendly to everyone, hope for the best and then be there for them when they need to talk. Good luck chick - you will be great! xx


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